Where The Tradition Of Wearing Black To A Funeral Comes From

I can remember when I was 18, my friend's father was tragically killed in a car accident. It was awful. I can still see that event playing out as she got ‘the call’ and we both raced into the hospital with no idea what lay ahead. I cried and I grieved for her. It just seemed so unfair, and I wanted to take her pain away.

A short time later was the funeral, and I remember how determined my friend was to have colour and life in that funeral, and not to crowd such a significant event out with black and traditions. With a broken heart and their families lives in tatters, she put on a bright flowery dress as she farewelled one of her favourite people in the world. And her attitude greatly influenced me. So much so, that I often asked why we tend to wear black to funerals, and whether that is something I would want?

Well, for as far back as I can find, black is the traditional colour of mourning throughout America, Europe, Australia, and NZ. But it’s less about spirituality, religion, or symbolism and more about fashion and wealth - who knew!

The Tradition Of Wearing Black To A Funeral Comes From...

I can remember when I was 18, my friend's father was tragically killed in a car accident. It was awful. I can still see that event playing out as she got ‘the call’ and we both raced into the hospital with no idea what lay ahead. I cried and I grieved for her. It just seemed so unfair.

• The Ancient Romans

  Before we get to the trendsetting fashionistas in more recent history, we should look to the ancient Romans for answers. The earliest record of wearing black garments to mourn the death of a loved one was during the Roman empire. Instead of the iconic white toga, people wore a darker coloured toga – called a toga pulla – when in mourning.

  While this may have been the inspiration for other countries, the trend didn’t really gain traction until many centuries later.

• Mourning For The Rich

  Wearing black mourning clothing was a symbol of wealth in Europe in the Middle Ages. Only the richest people could afford to wear black clothing as it was expensive to come by. Many widows competed to be the most extravagant, adorning themselves with long trains, hoods, valuable "mourning jewellery," and black veils.

• A Trendsetting Queen

  Before black became the go-to colour of choice for grieving widows, white was actually the preferred funeral colour for many cultures and nations. However, during the 19th century, some of the most wealthy began dressing in black.

  The scene changed when Queen Victoria’s beloved husband, Prince Albert, died in 1861. The queen was devastated. Following his death, she donned black garb and continued to wear only black clothing for the rest of her life. 

  The British upper class aspired to be like their queen, copying her clothing choices when in mourning as something of a status symbol.

  During this Victorian era, black clothing became standard throughout much of the West. There were even rules regulating the length of time the black dress should be worn. These rules most strictly applied to widows. Widowers had much more leeway.

  Women who lost their husbands had to wear full mourning garments for a year following his death. This would include veiling their faces when leaving the house. After that, they were allowed to wear duller clothing in shades of grey or purple for another year before resuming standard dress if they chose to. 

• More Colourful Customs

  In many other countries and religions, different colours are associated with mourning. White is worn by Buddhists and Hindus. White is considered a symbol of purity in India and China. The rest of the world also adopt brighter colours to celebrate a life gone by - purple is worn in Thailand, yellow in Myanmar and Egypt, and blue in Iran. 

  So there we have it. While the tradition of wearing black began as more of a status symbol and fashion statement, it has now become synonymous with mourning. 

  However, as I saw with my friend's actions, death and grief are very personal experiences. As such, we can be aware of, and take guidance from the loved ones of those who have passed as to what to wear when attending a funeral. Many will request that people dress in brighter colours to celebrate life or even a particular favourite colour or style of the one who has passed.

  Interested in more about death and funeral customs? Then check out my other blogs by clicking here.