What is an End of Life Doula?
What is an End of Life Doula?
There’s no denying it - none of us are getting out of here alive. In fact, our lives are bookended by two certainties; birth and death.
When a couple is expecting a baby, there’s a great deal of preparation involved. Including individual preferences for things like how the upcoming parents want the birth to go. They can choose where it will take place, who will be there, and what type of birth plan they want to follow. Now this doesn’t mean that things always go to plan, but it’s a great starting point to being as prepared as possible.
But what about the end of life?
Well, that is where an End of Life Doula can help.
Just as a midwife is often called on to assist with childbirth, an End of Life Doula is on hand to assist with the process of dying. An End of Life Doula is a non-medical role to offer support, assistance and planning both for the individual, or their family/loved ones. They support in a variety of ways and places including the person’s home as well as Hospices, Hospitals and Care Homes.
Some of the tasks an End of Life Doula can help with include:
Companioning/being with the person who is unwell
Advocating
Researching/finding out information to help the person/their family
Counselling and support before and after death,
Helping with creating an end of life plan
Funeral and memorial service planning
Help with practical tasks like shopping, meals, and errands
Be a point of contact for carers/supporters
We all live unique lives, shaped by our genes, environment and culture. Given that, it makes sense that we’ll each have a unique experience of death. A End of Life Doula’s job is to celebrate that uniqueness whilst maintaining the individual's uniqueness, and who they are as a person.
If you’ve experienced the gradual loss of a loved one, you’ll know there’s a lot to deal with.
What can I expect from an End of Life Doula?
For a person who is dying (and their loved ones), an End of Life Doula wears a few hats. They counsel, provide companionship, educate and advise. It’s not uncommon for a Doula to be invited into the family home and to work closely with the family.
Even the act of simply being available for conversations and planning can make a huge difference.
Why would you plan your death, and how can an End of Life Doula help?
The end of life most likely isn’t at the top of your mind right now, but what if you knew it was approaching? What kind of legacy would you want to leave behind? How would you want to be remembered? Who will be the go-between when it comes to communications between medical professionals and your family? How will you cope with the rollercoaster of emotions that come with knowing that the end of this life is approaching?
It’s difficult to know where to start and the details can become overwhelming very quickly.
Acquiring the services of an End of Life Doula is a lot like hiring an accountant for your small business at tax time. They’re trained to know all the details that need to be taken care of and can create a personalised plan that makes the whole process a lot smoother.
They can be with you for as little or as much support as you need, and often have a huge team or support themselves.
What about After Death?
Whilst an End of Life Doula deals with matters before, during, and after death, the funeral director is focused on what needs to happen post-death. The two roles often work well together.
An End of Life Doula will often step in as a funeral celebrant or help to coordinate with the celebrant/funeral director to provide additional support during funeral preparations. There are laws governing what End of Life Doulas can and can’t do once death has occurred and it’s the funeral director who traditionally fills the gap. An End of Life Doula may also be involved in follow-up care for the bereaved family weeks or months after the death to deliver respite care.
The position of End of Life Doula is still a relatively new role, but one that a growing number of people are taking on. As our population ages and attitudes around death evolve, it may not be long before End of Life Doulas are as commonplace as midwives. If you’re interested in learning more about End of Life Doulas, or even interested in becoming one, be sure to check out www.preparingtheway.com.au or get in touch - I’m happy to chat more about this amazing role! :)