Kirsty Salisbury - Podcaster, Author & End of Life Coach

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Let's love our people. Love them hard...

One of my dear friends lost her husband a few weeks ago. It was a truck crash and he died instantly. I'll never forget the pain in her voice as she gave me the update. Utter devastation. Now, this isn't just someone I know of. I am talking about one of my closest friends.

I'm ok with death. And I'm ok with dying, but this event has affected me on a very different level. Because my friend and her husband were each others' everything. I've never seen a couple more in love or devoted to loving each other. He bought her flowers and teddy bears, she made his lunches (complete with regular love notes written on bananas). They made a commitment to constantly woo each other and go on dates. They played together, laughed together and did the hard yards together. And quite literally in an instant - he is gone. Gone forever, whilst other couples who are fighting and hurting each other, or possibly worse - living in loveless relationships beside each other, get to carry on. It just seems so unfair.

For so many in a similar situation, there would be regret. Regret of words said, or left unspoken, actions taken or with-held, or things left undone. Because most of us are looking to achieve harmony rather than what this couple had. To simply maintain a relationship, rather than design one full of love and happiness. Yet just a few minutes extra each day can transform our relationships. I know this first hand.

We never know when our time is up. We never know when our loved ones times are up. So we should love each other, and love each other hard. Whilst I believe everything happens for a reason, I can't help but wonder how I'd feel if I lost a loved one today. I'm happy to say that there's no phone call to be made, no words left unspoken, and no issues to fix. However, I've heard first-hand from many people who tell of their regrets in similar situations, and how they feel burdened living with those regrets.

My friend is feeling it right now. She is experiencing pain like someone has literally ripped her heart out - her words not mine. And it's so awful to see her go through it. Yet in an odd way, I feel honoured to witness it. Because I saw how much she gave, and how much I believe she will receive from that. She has said multiple times that she has no regrets, and that will help her grieving process.

How would it leave you feeling if you or a loved one were to pass suddenly? Anything to address today?