Death is one of life's great certainties. But what happens in the hours, days, and weeks that follow the departure of a loved one? What should we do when someone dies in our home or workplace? Read on to understand the procedure and the actions that may need to be taken, and what we can expect.
In the hours immediately following a death
If you are at the scene of a death, the first thing to do is notify the authorities (police, ambulance, any immediate staff or business owners). Depending on circumstances, you may also have to ensure you and others are safe. A sudden death can be quite a shock for bystanders.
The immediate family will need to be contacted. If the person died while performing their job, their employer and emergency contact should be notified.
If the deceased passed away in a hospital or other managed-care facility, the medical staff should be the first to know. A medical examiner will also need to confirm the cause of death and verify the time at which it occurred. Once this is done, they will issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD). If it occurred under questionable circumstances, the coroner will investigate the death. By law, an MCCD must be issued before the body can be prepared for burial or cremation.
In the days that follow
Once the appropriate paperwork has been completed, the body can be transported to a funeral home. In New Zealand, anyone with a valid driver's licence can do this, provided the body is placed in a coffin or casket. Most commonly, it will be the funeral director who provides this service. It is important to discuss options with the family involved and ensure the timing of this step is in accordance to their wishes
Once the deceased is in the custody of the funeral home, the body is washed and dressed. Embalming is entirely optional. Friends and family may wish to view the deceased. In the case where the body is not to be embalmed, it is placed in storage until burial or cremation.
(The embalming process involves a vein being tapped and the blood drained out, replaced by a mix of water and formaldehyde. The remaining organs are removed, and bodily fluids are replaced with a preservative. If the deceased was a donor, organs will have been harvested if the person was on a ventilator in ICU at the time of brain death.)
It’s important to note that this can be a stressful period. Take time off your job, study or commitments to process what has happened. You may well feel like distracting yourself with work, but untended grief and shock have a way of catching up with us later. If you qualify for bereavement leave, talk to your employer about taking it, it can really help.
You’ll also need this time to make arrangements according to the will of the deceased person. Locating it is a matter of checking with the family lawyer, the Public Trust Office or the Will Registry. It may also be necessary to look around the person's home for a copy. If you’re not the executor, you will need the permission of the executor to take any action outlined in the will.
Registration of the death is another matter that will need to be taken care of in the first few days. This can be done free of charge through the Registry of Births, Deaths, and Marriages. They will issue the Death Certificate. The paperwork is usually taken care of by a funeral director.
The funeral director will meet with the family to discuss funeral arrangements and help with the necessary paperwork. Whether the body is buried or cremated should be outlined in the will. If no will document exists, it will be up to the next of kin.
Costs should be covered by the deceased person’s estate. You can expect these to include confirmation of death by a medical examiner, a casket/shroud, and burial or cremation fees. Other costs that you may have to cover include legal fees, the cost of the service, and funeral director fees. It’s important to remember that you’re not obligated to spend outside your budget. A good funeral director will help you work within any financial constraints.
Additional assistance is also available to cover funeral costs if you’re unable to do so. In New Zealand, grants are available through WINZ, ACC, and Veterans’ Affairs.
Acquiring the services of a funeral director should be done as soon as possible. They provide a broad range of services and will work alongside you to take care of
Legal matters, including registering the death
Transportation of the body
Care and embalming of the body
Arranging the burial or cremation
Locating a priest, minister, or celebrant
Funeral, memorial, and post-funeral arrangements
Transporting the body may involve air travel in cases where the deceased passed away abroad, or the will stipulates burial in a particular location. It is worth checking with airlines that offer compassionate discounts on fares in such cases.
If you are unsure at all in the initial days after the death, the best thing to do is to chat to a Funeral Director. They can help you to begin processing the above items and advise what needs to happen with the deceased.
In the Weeks that Follow
Once the initial shock of a loved one has worn off, and the departed person has been memorialised, the reality of the loss can creep up on the bereaved in various ways.
These include but are not limited to: exhaustion, depression, disorientation, and forgetfulness.
It is important to practice self-care, and ensure you have a healthy routine of sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Reach out if you feel you need help. In New Zealand, organisations such as Skylight, Grief Centre, Lifeline and the Samaritans are great resources.
Children and teenagers will also need patience and support. They’ll need to return to some kind of routine and feel safe and supported. Reassuring them that they can talk about their feelings with whomever they wish is also helpful. Letting them express themselves creatively is also a valuable way of helping them through a difficult time.
Dealing with the Estate
When there is a Will
A will makes the administration of a person’s estate easier to manage. It will lay out exactly how the estate is to be distributed and is legally binding. It also states who will take care of dependents and who the executor is to be. It is up to the designated executor to fulfil its requirements.
If the will is particularly large, the executor may apply for Probate, a court order recognising the authenticity of the will and confirming the executor’s authority. This process can take up to six months, at which point beneficiaries can expect.
In the absence of a Will
In this case, the deceased is said to have died intestate.
If the deceased did not own property and assets do not exceed $15,000, the estate is considered small. In this case, it is left up to the next of kin to distribute the assets as they see fit.
Otherwise, an application will have to be made to the Courts for someone to act as administrator of the will. This can be a messy, drawn-out process if the affairs of the deceased were not settled before death. Families will often select the Public Trust office to administer the will as they can provide dedicated, objective assistance.
Death touches all our lives, often unexpectedly. While each of us reacts to it in our own way, it is important to understand that we are not alone. There are more people, processes and institutions than ever before to help guide us through a tough time.
